I ordered soft life. Accra delivered gari foto
I decided last Monday that I was now a ‘soft life babe’.
You know the requirements; linen dress, iced matcha, house full of plants, Pilates at 6am, journaling with scented candle. Peaceful. Unbothered. Hydrated. ‘chale’ I even practiced my soft life smile in the mirror.
By Tuesday 10am, I had priced peacock rice at Dome market. One bag was GH¢150. I immediately became bothered again. Not small bother; a full spiritual bother.
Soft life, but make it Ghanaian
Soft life paused; gari soaked successfully, because let us be honest, Accra is not soft-life friendly. Accra is hard life with small aesthetic breaks. It will let you do brunch, and that means lunch denied. We all want the soft life, but the economy said, ‘over my dead body’.
This city will collect your last GH¢50 with a smile and wish you a “blessed week” on top.
“We want to do morning routine like those TikTok girls; lemon water, meditation, journal. when real life routine is: check ECG, check MoMo balance, check if trotro fare increased overnight (it did, it always does, do not ask me how I know), then meditate on why I even left my bed this morning ‘sef’.
And the performance? ‘Ei,’ chale’, we are trying ‘oo’. We buy one neutral coloured mug for GH¢10 at China mall and take fifty pictures with it, one for every mood.
We buy one plant and name it like it is our firstborn. My plant is called “Rent” because it keeps stressing me and I water it with pure anxiety.
We go to Ula beach for one brunch and post it for three weeks straight with different captions; “soft girl era,” “peace,” “grateful,” “no stress.” Sister, we know you went once. Once, but it’s okay, we are all recycling content, no shame in this economy.
Even dating has become soft life auditing; Love is sweet but can you afford brunch at Marriot?
In this economy, even ‘crush’ has an invoice. “Where will you take me?” “Somewhere soft.” Soft meaning you don’t want noise? Or soft meaning ‘you fit hide say’ you cannot afford noise?
Now anytime a guy says, “let’s do something chill at home.”, you know that is not soft life; that is a budget control wearing a fitted t-shirt. My sister run! Last time, a guy said to my friend “let’s split” at Bloom Bar, she almost split from this earth, permanently.
My soft life does not include 50/50 on jollof that is GH¢280. If you cannot buy my jollof in full, please, let us also split the relationship 50/50 you go your way, I go mine, no ‘wahala;.
Dating in Accra is now a financial interview.
We thought soft life was Matcha; but peace is the real soft life
We are chasing aesthetics, but peace is the real soft life. I have seen people with plenty money who still have no peace ‘koraa.’ Always posting, always proving, always calculating who saw their story. That is not soft, that is a full-time unpaid job.
Real soft life are the small things. It is sleeping 8 hours without waking up to calculate debt in your sleep like an unpaid accountant. It is saying, “I won’t come” and not writing an essay to explain yourself to nobody.
It is drinking water and minding your own business that alone is advanced spiritual warfare in this country.
It is not going for every wedding, every naming ceremony, every “just come, it’s not compulsory” that is very much compulsory.
It is eating gari in your clean room, watching Netflix, and not feeling one drop of guilt that you should be posted up on some rooftop somewhere looking expensive.
Soft life, mini version
My soft life is now gari and peace of mind.
My soft life now is data off after 10pm. Nobody’s business ‘dey run pass my sleep’. I do not argue for comment section, I just scroll and mind my business.
I woke up without a fancy alarm clock because ECG had already woken me up at 5am when they took off the light. so, I meditated in darkness. Very mindful right?
I ate leftover fried rice with fried egg breathing helplessly like a pregnant fish. I ate it slowly like those brunch girls. No rush. Same plate, different mindset.
I stopped buying things to impress people who do not even like me like (God bless them anyway). Sachet water in a wine glass is still soft life. Presentation is everything, even if the content is 50 pesewas.
I am still working towards the linen dress from Zara and the house full of plants; But for now, my plant is plastic and it is thriving better than the real one’s people are killing with love.
My Pilates is walking to the junction, briskly, like something is chasing me because usually something is. My matcha is Lipton with small milk, stirred with intention. And it is okay. ;’God dey.’
I’m not giving up on soft life. I’m just putting it on layaway. Small small; brick by brick;
Just a Ghana card, no interest, flexible payment plan, God as my guarantor.
If you see me posting aesthetic breakfast, just know the lunch was gari foto, eaten standing by the fridge, no plate, straight from the bowl like an animal. And I enjoyed every single spoon of it.
We move. Softly. On a budget. With dignity mostly.
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